All About Weight: A Journey.

I am fat, and I am confident and proud of it.


I am not gonna lie. When I was young, I also asked myself why am I like this? Why am I fat? Why am I not like the others? What would my life be if I don't weight like this? But I was happy that I overcome the insecurities over other girls easily. I mean, I didn't know when it started, but one day, I just woke up not caring if others thinks of me differently because I weight like this.

When I was young, my playmates would call me names. It hurts, specially if you thought of them as someone whom you can play with for forever. After you wake up, all you think of as a child is to play with them. But when worse comes to worse, your weight will always be an issue. And I don't blame them. Rather, I understand. We were young and foolish. It was then that I started to be used to name calling, laughs and well, people's different ways of looking at me like I was some kind of a rare animal. Lol. Again, it hurts. But maybe, because I am already used to it, it became a bit normal so it wasn't that painful already.

When I reached my teen years, it started there. I am fat. I have pimples. I am not pretty. But hey, my friends really likes me and loves to be with me. I guess, that became my savior. I don't have a bad childhood. I grew up fine. I don't know if that can be a factor in realizing that I should embrace what I am, how I look and that people will always look at me differently because I weight more. But I still feel good anyhow.

I was born big as a baby. I grew up bigger than kids my age. I am always the biggest. It gave me two types of attention from people. The negative and the positive. But since I got used to it, it doesn't even matter now. I even find it funny when people look at me from head to toe, then would eventually make face. I mean, seriously? How can they look a person with disgust just because they weight more? I pity them for it.

Since High School, I never had the problem of wanting to have a boyfriend, or like, wanting my crush have a crush on me too. I don't know, I guess I am just different. I was a teen, and all I care about was doing what I want to do, hang out with my friends, make sure school days are fun and all. It's also funny when my crush learned that I have a crush on them and again, they act as if they are the most handsome creature and they cannot like someone not pretty as me. Like, what the hell? It's a problem with everyone feeling like whenever someone confessed to them that they like him or her, they feel like that person is already obligating them to love or like them back. That's just bullshit.

So yeah, my life has always been that way. But my life wasn't that dull just because I am fat. Hell, it was even more fun for me. I also had a list of "admirers" way back and it felt more sincere, since I don't have to wear something good, or something that will look good on me for me to be noticed. And it gave me more confidence. Before, I am used to just wearing shirts and loose pants, but my Mom started to buy fitting clothes for me. It's like, my Mom embraced my size first before I did. Sure, sometimes she would tease me and my sister, but at the end of the day, she's the first one to make me realize that it's okay to be big, it's okay to be fat.

I hate it when people think the word FAT is an insult. No, it's not. People should not feel insulted with the word. I even hate it when people call me CHUBBY. I tell them straight that "No, I am not chubby. I am fat." get over it. Lol. But whenever I hear someone bad mouthing a person they saw because they are fat, I pity them for it. I don't want to sound rude but I try to tell them that It's not something to be made fun of, nor it's a disgusting thing. Sure, not all fat people are like me who got over it. Most of them still struggle by the fact that the society says it's not normal, so it's not acceptable.

I don't say don't diet or make efforts to loose weight because it's your prerogative. You can loose weight for reasons you only know, like you wanted to be accepted, you simply want to be healthier or something else. All I'm saying is that, even though most of us didn't chose to be fat, some of us accepted that fact and you don't have the right to judge us, to keep on reminding us that we're disgusting or we are different and not normal. Juts like a person with disabilities or a person with health issues.

But even though I accepted who I am and I am embracing it, I don't condone people bashing thin or slim people. I mean, It's a hypocrisy if you accept your fat nature and hate slim and thin people. It's like all pf the things we are fighting for for our self are useless because we're just actually using our acceptance by ruining other's choice for being their self just like ours.

For example was MEGAN TRAINOR'S All About the Bass.

I don't call people SKINNY BITCHES just because they're skinny. I'd call them SKINNY BITCHES if they are skinny, and acting like a bad bitch. I don't call pretty women SILICON BARBIES if they really just actually looks like a barbie or a doll. Even though they have some silicon on them so what? It's their choice, just like how we chose to be fat (Or we did not, we just embraced the fact that we are) and big.

And yeah, it would be flattering to have some boys liking the fact that we have something they can hold on to at night, but I don't like objectifying myself. It's like I feel good about it, but it's not just the only thing I feel good about. There are other things.

I also admit, I kind of hate it when people who doesn't really look fat or like, they still pass the standard BMI saying they are fat. Like "Dude, you aren't fat. If there's someone who is fat around here, it's me, not you." But what do I know? Maybe they just don't really feel like their self, or they are panicking because they could lose control and be actually fat. I don't know, but it kinds of insulting and a bit of annoying saying you are fat when you are actually not, in front of someone who is really actually fat. Lol.

Anyway, the thing I liked about Megan's All About The Bass is the fact that she accepts what she is (even though in my opinion she isn't really fat. She's just big! Like, plus size. And really, she actually looked fit) and made something out of it like sending positivity in a form of telling the people that EVERY INCH OF YOU IS PERFECT FROM THE BOTTOM TO THE TOP. Although I don't need that, it may have made an impact or a difference for someone.

So.. anyone of you who has a thing or two to say about being fat or something?

2 comments

  1. You go girl! This post rocks! Thought provoking and personal at the same time. :) Regardless of what size, shape or weight we are, it's all a matter of self acceptance, love and respect of oneself and others. No matter how great you look, if you let your insecurities eat you inside out then there's no use at the end.

    www.annescribblesanddoodles.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you so much! That is so true, insecurity is a disease that if you can't let it get to you, everything will be so much better. :)

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